So today started out with a "Doh!" moment. I didn't wake up until 11, I set my alarms for 6 am everyday and always hear my Ipod one which is so loud it always makes me angry and it usually decides I need to hear death metal when I wake up. So I didn't go into my internship because it takes me at least two hours to get myself to look like dog shit to go to work. So I decided to take the day to work on my resume. It took me forever to do this thing...who knew I had so many awesome selling points? : /
I eventually finished my resume/CV and decided I better take my trash out before I forget considering tomorrow is trash day. My outdoor trash can is one of those big green rubber made things that wal-mart gets like $40 for. This thing has been sitting in the middle of my front yard for a couple of weeks because I can't move it. the reason I can't move it is because we got a snow storm awhile back and I didn't drag it under my carport so it got filled with snow....too heavy to move...the snow melted....too heavy to move....the water froze....too heavy to move, get my drift here? At one point I had struggled for about twenty minutes to drag this thing out to the street and threw my back out again in the process. I was so proud of this victory over the trash can, I figured the big strong trash-men would pick it up and dump everything into the back of their big trash monster and that would be that. But no! The men who usually just throw everyone's trash cans into the street and into other cars didn't pick up my trash can, they just picked the trash bags out of my trash can. I just left my trash can out and continued putting the trash out into it. Later I explained my trash can saga to one of my guy friends who came over. He pushed it over to let it drain in the street...yay! Finally victory over the trash can! Well the next day I came home to my trash can upright in the middle of my front yard...wtf?!!
Either my trash can has grown the ability to stand up and move on its own due to the excess of bacteria it has been growing or one of my neighbors thought they were being nice. Well to my surprise, the dang thing had not finished draining, I still couldn't move it! So it had become somewhat of a lawn ornament for the past couple of weeks. I have finally accumulated enough trash to try to deal with the situation.
I walk outside tonight after trying to get my kitchen trashcan to forfeit its trash-bag, to claim victory once more over the big green rubber-made. Mind you it has now accumulated much more precipitation. I kick it...it wobbles a little bit....I adjust my stance to that of a wrestler ready to take on his opponent and I push it as hard as I can it goes down splashing out a very very foul liquid all over my lawn. So let me pre-face what happens next with our weather situation...yesterday it snowed like it was the apocalypse and then it rained and rained and rained. So my front yard is nothing but disgusting slush. Ever try to get traction from Vera- Wang house shoes in in a slushy muddy yard? "No" you say, well that is because you can't. Yes, my friends, I took my evening shower in trash juice, yard slush and random pieces of trash I am sure I didn't put in my trash can.
Well I got that ass-hole out to the street and my trash inside of it and I guarantee come trash day on Tuesday there will be a sign on that ass-hole that says "Single Woman Lives Here! please pick me up and clean me out, it is what you get paid for!"
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