It begins

So this blog birthed out of a sarcastic status update I posted on facebook observing the sad yet hilarious nature of my solitude.  A few people thought it would be a great idea so I have decided to give it a go.  We shall see, maybe I will be able to pay for grad school off of this but knowing my luck, not so much.

It all started when I decided to check an online dating site that I haven't checked in awhile and realized how pathetic the region in which I am living actually is.  I do believe I described the dating pool as people who fell off the top of the ugly tree into a pool of idiot juice and the people on said site that were not idiots were the gnome kings of the ugly forest...something to that degree.    Lets start with a few examples of the idiots:
Idiot #: How's your week goin?
I think innocent enough right?  I responded politely and told him I was having a good week.  I then look at his profile in a nutshell it says "BLAH i WAS IN THE MARINES, I WENT TO IRAQ, GO AMERICA, RANDOM QUOTE FROM WILL FERRELL, RANDOM QUOTE FROM GET HIM TO THE GREEK, COLLEGE IS FOR SISSY UNAMERICANS I WILL NEVER BE A SLAVE TO THE MAN AGAIN, I AINT NEVER GONNA GO TO NO COLLEGE, RANDOM UNITELLIGIBLE QUOTE, BLAH, I DON'T ACT LIKE NO MARINE, I HAVE TWO TATOOS THAT SAY GET MONEY, ONE IS IN JAPANES, AND I AM WHITE."   I figure I will humor him, after all I can be a bit too judgmental of people.   So then I asked him what he did for a living since he wasn't using that GI Bill, I asked if he got a nice job with the government.  He responds:
i work for myself fixing computers, cars, and anything else i can find. no im not plan on going to college, i can do most anything. government, no im done working for them. why did you wan to become a teacher??

I am now thinking, oh dear god, this uneducated idiot juice diving tree faller is also unemployed.  I respond back with a really loooong boring message using lots of big words, the main highlight being the word "altruism."  I basically sais there is not enough of it and that is why...yadda yadda yadda and some more self righteous crap. I also asked him if he owned his own business, "fixing crap."   His Response:

somewhat, it just pays the bills and not much else. yea most people dont want to try anymore, i think that why so many people get divorced, and most of the stuff wrong with the USA. do you have a family member, thats a special needs?? 

I say:
well altruism has nothing to do with divorce rates or really trying for that matter, it is a character trait that people just are not in tune with. No I do not have a family member that has special needs, not in this context anyway.

His response:
no im saying "most people dont want to try anymore" they just give up at the first sign of trouble. and what do you mean "not in this context"?? if you dont mind me asking??

Oh my, he obviously doesn't know what altruism means nor does he know how to open up a new tab to  google search it. I quit even trying to be nice after that. and so we move on to idiot #2.

I looks at ur pics n I have to tell u that I think ur beautiful

Ok, I say clearly in my profile, do not use internet speak with me and you must know the difference between your and you're and the like. At the end I say you should contact me if you do not want to stick a fork in your eye after reading my profile.  I also give an example of a terrible first message, so with that background lets continue with the story.....

Me: and you obviously did not read my profile, but thank you for the compliment
Idiot#2: It didn't. Make me wanna stick a fork n my eye but your welcome
me: *you're
Idiot#2: What that mean?

this obviously does not need anymore commentary.  

Idiot#3 from new egypt, u should visit it now.
you are adorable and adore your body ;)
That one doesn't need any commentary either.


So that is how I spent part of my night, the other part was reading Charlie Sheen quotes, checking my e-mail debating on getting a head start on my homework, but debated too much so I didn't, finding stupid facebook banners, trying to teach my spoiled dogs how to shake while feeding them gluten free sugar free cardboard flavored cereal as treats ( this venture obviously failed after spending an hour sitting on my kitchen floor, and picking out my outfit for tomorrow.  I also found this really funny website through a couple of my friends:
  http://www.jamesvandermemes.com
 oh and if you haven't seen the creep yet by the lonely island check that out on youtube, totally knee slap worthy.  Well goodnight, time to let the advil PM take me away!